5 Things Sex Ed Never Taught Me

Valentine’s Day has passed, mine was wonderful thanks for asking, and I feel like there’s an opportunity here for a lesson. Which! I realize sounds a bit awful, but bear with me. I’ll keep it light and fun and hey, maybe you’ll learn something all on your own.

If you decide to continue to read, you’re telling me you’re okay with me getting graphic. The human body is a beautiful, complex, disgusting, and mystifying thing. What should be taught to us in school is either censored or edited or we’re not taught at all.

I don’t write this as a personal attack on anyone, I just want my fellow humans to be educated about their body. I believe everyone has the right to information and I realize that not everyone is getting the right information. If you doubt anything I’m saying feel free to correct me and bring me new sources. This isn’t a lesson it’s a discussion.

SO, here we go.

(Vaginal) Discharge is natural and every woman has it.

Does anyone else remember that awful week or so that #pantychallenge was poppin’? And does anyone else remember all those photos of women with clean, bare underwear declaring that they’re clean and healthy because they don’t have discharge in their panties? Well I’m here to tell you that those women should probably go see a doctor and that having no discharge at all is not something you want.

SO! Here’s the truth, Vaginal discharge starts after a person begins having periods. Discharge is their vaginas way of cleaning itself and is caused by the shifting hormones in their system. When you claim that you have no discharge, what you’re really saying is that my vagina isn’t doing her job and has let the family down.

Now, don’t get confused. Discharge is a healthy and natural thing, but there are cases where you should be worried about the color, smell, or texture of your discharge. Here is a check list.

  • Normal, white discharge isn’t itchy. So go live your life and, if you want, invest in scentless panty liners. That way you can keep your underwear pretty without causing yourself any health issues.
  • White, itchy discharge is a sure sign of a yeast infection so go to your local clinic and get yourself sorted out boo. If you’re not sure your insurance covers it, I’m proud to say that (in the state of California, idk about anywhere else) your clinic will give you insurance.
  • Yellow/Green discharge, you’ve probably got some Chlamydia my friend. Visit a clinic, get some meds, and notify your most recent partners.
  • Painful! discharge is usually a sign of Gonorrhea, and I’m gonna say it again: visit a clinic, get some meds, and then call your most recent partners. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself and not be a dick and notify everyone who has had sexual intercourse with you.

So, what have we learned? No discharge is a big NO NO, white discharge means (usually) that you’re in the clear.

What you eat (or don’t) affects the flora of your vagina.

Now typically, I’m a girl who lives by the code, “A VAGINA SHOULD TASTE LIKE A VAGINA, IF YOU WANT IT TO TASTE LIKE PEACHES GO EAT PEACHES” but I feel it pertinent to add that what you eat and drink actually does affect your vagina’s taste and smell.

Vaginas are a typically scentless creature, but there are a number of things that can give your vagina unpleasant scents and tastes.  Things are sensitive down there! Your vagina is working overtime to do several jobs at once so it shouldn’t be too hard for you to cut it some slack and  keep it from smelling like Doritos. Not to mention, it’s very simple to do.

Now, here are the hard facts.

  • Healthy vaginas all have a naturally acidic Ph balance, which has the fun little task of regulating everything and making sure all the bells and whistles are doing their jobs and are protected from infection.
  • Red meat, spices, processed sugars, junk food, broccoli (of all things), and alcohol all affect the sensitive ecosystem your vagina has so kindly kept neat and tidy for you.
  • The effect any of those foods above have on your vagina last for about two to three days after ingestion. (SO if you have a pretty awful binge fest don’t feel too guilty, and know you can begin turning it all around the very next day.)
  • Fruits, certain veggies, whole grains, and (most importantly) DRINKING PLENTY OF WATER, can keep your vagina happy, healthy, and as sweet as a vagina can get.

So, we’ve learned that our vagina has the very important job of running a whole ecosystem and you can help protect and preserve by eating a well-balanced, healthy diet of natural foods, whole grains, and DRINKING PLENTY OF WATER.

Not Feeling Sexual Attraction or Arousal is Perfectly Normal

I know this one is probably hard to believe, thanks to how sex saturated our media is, but its true. There’s this thing called asexuality! All the kids are doing it, or…well more accurately they aren’t doing it. You’re not a weirdo, you’re not some anomaly, it’s perfectly natural and normal to be asexual.

If you think I’m lying and trying to further the Gay Agenda™, then you’re wrong and I’m about to blow your mind with these very real facts I found!

  • Asexuality doesn’t mean a total lack of sexuality. It’s still a sexuality, same as gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc. It just means that whatever sexual impulses you have you either want them not at all, totally by yourself, or with whatever/whomever floats your very special boat.

The good thing about sexuality is that it is an intensely personal journey defined by you and only you. What you feel or don’t feel for other people and how people feel about it, doesn’t matter. How you define yourself is what matters.

  • You can still have romantic attraction to other people.

I feel like sex has a lot of importance in a relationship, I don’t however, think that a relationship is defined by sex. Just because you don’t feel like engaging in sex doesn’t mean you have to force yourself for the sake of your partner or not date at all . It just means you have to find someone who understands that what you’re feeling is permanent and not a phase.

You’re not a video game and dating you isn’t some challenge or puzzle they need to solve to get to the “prize”. YOU my love, are the prize. And just being with you and sharing in the wonderful sensation of love should be enough. If the person you’re seeing can’t respect that, its time to move on.

  • Asexuality, like all sexualities, is a spectrum. Some people who are asexual may be totally repulsed by sex, others may have sex all the time. Do I care? No. Because it’s none of my business who they do or don’t take into their bed. Its their decision. Just like its your decision to either have or don’t have sex.

There Are Way More Sexualities and Genders Than Gay/Straight or Woman/Man

This may come as a surprise, but people are all unique and different from their likes and dislikes, to who/how they feel attraction. It may seem like some newfangled Millennial thing, multiple sexualities and genders, but history has proven time and time again that there have always been gay people, transgender people, genderfluid people, etc. No matter how hard they try to erase us from history, we always come back. Don’t believe me? Well, I bring links!

If you’re not sure what category you fall under, don’t fret. There are tons of resources online and offline to figure yourself out. But know, there is no pressure to immediately identify yourself. The journey to finding your sexuality and your gender, is entirely up to you. If you’re fine with being undefined then that’s amazing! I’m so happy you’re happy with who you are!


Masturbation is Healthy & Natural

If I have to hear one more girl my age tell me she doesn’t masturbate because it’s gross, I’m gonna do something drastic. Girls are taught from so young to be afraid and ashamed of our bodies, that doing something as natural as masturbating is seen as this great big sin. You’re seen as nasty or fast or immoral, for pleasuring yourself. Here are my issues with that thought.

  • If God didn’t want us to masturbate, he wouldn’t have allowed our arms to reach our genitals. 
  • If he really really really doesn’t want us to masturbate, then why did he make it so easy for girls to do it in the first place?

Literally so! easy for a girl to masturbate. You got a dryer that nucks and bucks with every load? Hop on top of that bad boy and have the ride of a lifetime. Wear tight jeans on a bus ride. Ride a mechanical bull. Or, if you’re boring, buy a sex toy.

(Please, please, learn to properly clean and store your toys. Save yourself from infections.)

  • An orgasm is great for stress relief, head ache relief, and all around just good for blowing off some steam. If you don’t know how to masturbate then who’s gonna bring you to that point?

Which, brings me to my next point:

  • If you don’t know whats going on down there, how the hell is a guy, who wasn’t lucky enough to grow up in the female form, gonna know what the hell he’s doing?

Its like teaching someone how to play a very complicated video game. How are you gonna coach them through it, when you don’t even know which button you use to shoot?

I’m gonna do a part two post at a later date, but take these five little nuggets of knowledge and profit off of them! Use them! Live by them! And if you don’t believe me you’re welcome to do further research into each topic I’ve brought up. I’ll even leave a few helpful links.

  1. To my vagina owners.
  2. More info about vaginal health and discharge.
  3. Even more info about vaginal discharge.
  4. For anyone looking for more info on Asexuality
  5. Info on Female masturbation.

Take these links and prosper my darlings, don’t let ignorance lead you to ruining your health or keep you from enjoying pleasure.


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