I’ve been dreaming about this post even before I knew it would happen. I love talking about my future, I love making hypothetical plans and situations for myself that even I know may never happen but they’re nice to think about.
Especially when it comes to jobs. I love talking about my future job, my dream job, jobs I wouldn’t mind having, and the future jobs of my friends. I have those friends who know exactly who they want to be and what they want to do, and then I have those friends like me who kind of bounce around from career to career.
If you’re like that then that’s perfectly fine. Not everyone has things like that just planned out and ready to go. Just because our education system says we need to have a career, a college, and a lifestyle all picked out by eighteen doesn’t mean that we actually have to. If you’re feeling rushed in any way just know that you don’t have to move on anyone’s timeline but your own. It’s perfectly fine to get a job that pays the bills and then figure out the rest later on.
Me, personally? I’ve always known I wanted to do something creative. That’s why I bounced around from singer to actress to director so many times. I just want to create content and make people laugh or think. I want to create something that little me would have been proud of.
That’s my ultimate goal: create something that a younger me would have appreciated. As a kid I was really into books, science fiction, and fantasy. One thing that always bugged me, was how infrequently I saw people who looked like me. It only got worse as I got older when I realized I wanted to be behind the scenes instead of in front. I saw very few creators of color, and even fewer women creators of color.
For a while I thought that meant that I couldn’t do those things, that I was somehow not allowed to create a movie. That’s such an awful soul crushing feeling to have. Thinking that I have all these ideas and all these things that I want to do and make happen, and because I’m a poor little black girl I’ll never be able to.
Eventually I decided that I would have to be the person I so desperately wanted in my life as a child. Now I’m having trouble pinning down what I want to do exactly. I feel like there’s so many directions I can take my creativity in yet so few time for me to pursue all of them.
I want to create content, that’s my dream career. Being the person who writes books and book reviews, a model and a photographer, a director and an actress. I feel limited just sticking to one thing and I feel like in this day and age I shouldn’t have to.
(I listened to Goodbye by the Spice Girls while writing this.)