Astrology says I’m a Mythic Bitch

I know, I know, astrology is a pseudo-science that no one can prove actually means anything. But I love going to the back of magazines and newspapers and reading about what I, as an Aries, should expect that day. I love reading the horoscopes of my friends and loved ones, comparing what the magazine says against what I already know.

Do I believe in it? Not really sure. As an Aries I’m supposed to be enterprising, incisive, spontaneous, daring, and energetic. Which, yeah true, I am most of those things. I don’t know about enterprising or incisive but I’ve been on a sugar high since I was six and I don’t think it’s ever going to go down.

On the more “negative” side of things, as an Aries I’m supposed to be impatient, guileless, impetuous, vain, and a lot of other things that mean I’m a mythic bitch. I guess I can see some of those traits within myself but it’s hard for me to believe that I’m that way because I’m an Aries.

Anyone can be impatient, even my grandfather ( a Libra and the most patient man I know) has a limit on how long he’s willing to wait for something. Vanity is a little harder to pin down. Vanity and confidence can sometimes be confused for one another, and as a woman society expects me to bow and exalt anytime anyone pays me a compliment.

Is it really vain to say, “I know, thank you.” when someone tells me I look good that day when I know I look good that day? Looking good isn’t something that happens on accident, it’s not like I woke up with earrings and eye-shadow on, ready to take on the world. No! I put time an effort into my appearance and if someone compliments me I’m going to let them know that I know I look good.

As for horoscopes, I’m about fifty-fifty on those. They’re fun to read, and it’s fun to compare things that have actually happened to you to what a horoscope says, but I think it’s too easy to get caught up. No one can predict the future, they can make general inferences about your life and day to day experiences, but there’s no way anyone can know what will happen to you.

So horoscopes are always vague enough to “come true”, but specific enough so that you’ll apply it to your life and think it’s real. Anyone else ever notice that the horoscopes for Seventeen Magazine might be different from the horoscopes found in a Cosmo? The audience is different, different age groups, different experiences. A writer at Cosmo isn’t writing a horoscope for a fourteen year old girl, and a writer at Seventeen Magazine isn’t writing for a woman in her mid-late twenties. Which means that there’s no way you can ever fully trust a horoscope.

This got bleak, on to lighter topics.

When I was younger my horoscope provoked deep thought. I would think about my day and what might happen and how the horoscope can come into play. I can’t even tell you how many times I thought my crush would make a move all because a Tiger Beat magazine told me that today was the day. Nevermind the fact that my crush didn’t even know who I am. In my mind Christian was gonna see me across the jungle gym, lock eyes with me, and ask me right there to be his girlfriend.

I don’t know if you can tell, but romantic comedies have had a very strong affect on my life.

Of course that didn’t happen. The only reason Christian ever kissed me wasn’t because Mars had aligned perfectly with Neptune, but because I had an awesome best friend who convinced him to. He eventually moved and like most second graders, I moved on to better things and brighter horizons.

So there you have it, my views on astrology with a few nods to my past as a romantic  comedy junky.

(While writing this post I listened to Just For Now by Imogen Heap, covered by Pentatonix)






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